in loving memory of the world's greatest father ever, 26 june 1951 - 10 august 2008.

back when i was a child
before life removed all the innocence
my father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then
spend me around till i fell asleep
then up the stairs he would carry me
and i knew for sure i was loved

if i could get another chance
another walk, another dance with him
i'd play a song that would never ever end
how i'd love love love to dance with my father again

when i and my mother would disagree
to get my way i would run from her to him
he'd make me laugh just to comfort me
then finally make me do just what my mama said
later that night, when i was asleep
he left a dollar under my sheet
never dreamed that he would be gone from me

if i could steal
one final glance
one final step
one final dance with him
i'd play a song that would never ever end
cause i'd love love love to dance with my father again

sometimes i'd listen outside her door
i'd hear how my mother cried for him
i'd pray for her even more than me

i know i'm praying for much too much
but could you send back the only man she loved
i know you don't do it usually
but dear lord she' s dying to dance with my father again

every night i fall asleep
and this is all i ever dream

luther vandross - dance with my father
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-siXaH9EwRk

二十三。

父子情深



父：想着劳碌的运命
半暝目屎淡着被单
想着细子搁需要人晟
搁卡艰苦也着行
子：日头这呢大
天气这呢热
爸爸您敢会嘴乾
拿手巾仔来乎您拭汗
大汉我会做好子
有孝您辛苦加阮晟

父：想着劳碌的运命
半暝目屎淡着被单
想着细子搁需要人晟
搁卡艰苦也着行
子：日头这呢大
天气这呢热
爸爸您敢会嘴乾
拿手巾仔来乎您拭汗
大汉我会做好子
有孝您辛苦加阮晟

子：日头这呢大
天气这呢热
爸爸您敢会嘴乾
拿手巾仔来乎您拭汗
大汉我会做好子
有孝您辛苦加阮晟

半夜看cable 的舊電影寂寞好深
像看自己從前 從前的幸福和愚蠢
電影裡主角回頭的淚痕 那淚痕
忽然好想舊情人的柔軟雙唇

人一輩子常常只有 只有一次緣份
錯過就再也遇不到 那麼好的人
於是心裡不時飄浮暖暖那個吻
從此能付出的情愛也不完整

不自禁找尋很像她的情人
但是沒有誰 有像她的靈魂
舊愛還是最美 美的東西往往太早枯萎
後悔時的淚水 又特別讓人覺得無力疲憊
舊愛還是最美 有時分手不是誰負了誰
兩個對的人卻在錯的時候愛了一回

every night when i close my eyes and goes to bed, i'll think of my dad.

i really misses him alot.

爸 , 我很想你。

summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

you can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.

you can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

your heart can be empty because you cant see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

you can turn back on your tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

you can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

you can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

a year ago on this day, i was lying on the table in the operating theater waiting to be cut open.

a year later, im still breathing and kicking!

yay.

thanks everyone who has been around for me. :)

feels so much better after a 60km ride. went for rodalink west coast ride. been a couple years since i last joined the ride. route is still the same and still as fast. 60mins at 90%mhr. oh man. probably if i can get down to do this every tue and thu i can get back the fitness during my poly days.

was feeling down and lost and emo last night. well. i guess it's part of the adjustment period. adjustment anxiety, adjustment disorder etc etc. things are certainly not the same as in poly, really have to put in the effort and work hard. but also have try to mix around and make new friends, which i feel is the most important. only then things get done and enjoyed. it will be really sad if someone has no friends.

the rush of endorphin feels great. plan to read up some notes and sleep by 12mn. tomorrow will be a better day.

:)

operational ready day.

男人不该让女人流泪。

it is bird's day!

=)

hmmm.

in about 28 hours, the year 2007 willl be over.

as usual, the year was eventful. on 7th august, i underwent an major operation to donate half of my liver to my beloved dad who had battled liver cancer for the past couple of years. it was a difficult decision to make and it took about four months for all the tests and processes to be completed. looking back, it was indeed traumatising and scary, and i couldnt imagine how did i manage to go through all these. so glad that family and friends were around me to give me love and support.

five months have since passed by and im back on the bike. life for myself is almost back to normal, and awaits the 6th month checkup in feb for the all clear sign to start training and riding hard.

my dad is currently still in the hospital. he's been in and out of the hospital from numerous infection. really hope that he will get well one day and my effort will not be in vain.

looking forward to the new year as my service for the nation will be over and a new phase of life begins.

thank you 2007 and welcome 2008!

back to being a soldier again on monday.

how time flies.

two hundred and sixty days to go.

my daily routine and diet on the road to recovery

0400-0600: might wake up for 1x toast raisin sliced bread and instant cereal drink (meal no. 1)

0900: rise and shine

0900 - 1000: - 1 x big bowl of post breakfast cereal and losta milk (meal no. 2)
- online

1000 - 1200: - daily walk at the park across the road currently doing 7 rounds 3.5km @ 40:34mins increased progressively since discharge. aim to increase and keep to walking 5km a day or 1 hour which ever is lower
- stretching
- 1 x chicken essence
- shower

1200 - 1300: - ham and cheese sandwich (prepared by my mom before the day before and she will be in the hospital with my dad), 1 x yoghurt and fruits (meal no. 3)

1300 - 1600: - usually nap 2-3hrs a day. quite tired after my morning walk which feels almost as good as after a good ride

1500 - 1600: 1 x instant cereal drink, digestive biscuits, 1 x yakult and
whatever is available (meal no. 4)

1600 - 1800: more internet

1800 - 1900: random dinner. healthy and losta good fish like salmon and snowfish. nice soup and veg prepared by my mom. (meal no. 5)

1900 - 2100: more internet, tv, chat with mom etc.

2100 - 2200: 1 x instant cereal drink, ham & cheese sandwich, digestive biscuits etc (meal no. 6)

2200 - 0000: more internet or tv and retire for the night. zzz

tuesday will be the biggest race ever in my life.

i'll undergo a liver transplant surgery. it's for my dad. he has been battling with liver cancer for the past couple of years. and the docs suggested that a transplant is the best available option now to improve the chances.

it has been tough for the past few months. numerous ct scan and mri, multiple blood tests etc.
finally it's going to take place. emotionally it had been tough to make such a decision but how can i say no to my father?

the fear of watching my dad die is worse than the fear of going for the op.

i had cried on many occasion because it's really unnerving. thanks to many of you who had been with me through the tough times, especially vivvianne. im really glad and thankful that you're around with me.

i'll be admitted to sgh tomorrow afternoon and the op will take place on tuesday 7am. please keep me and my dad in your prayers. i hope that we will get through this and carry on with life. there is just still so many more things i wanna do and so many places i wanna go.

thanks for reading. i'll keep you guys updated.

spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there’s always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it’s hard at the end of the day
i need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
i’ll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there’s vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don’t make no difference
escaping one last time
it’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

a hundred days have made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lies have made me colder
and i don't think i can look at this the same
but all the miles that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

i'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight it's only you and me

the miles just keep rollin'
as the people leave their way to say hello
i've heard this life is overrated
but i hope that it gets better as we go

i'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl its only you and me

everything i know, and anywhere i go
it gets hard but it wont take away my love
and when the last one falls
when it's all said and done
it gets hard but it wont take away my love

i'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl its only you and me